I've been wondering for a long time just how my life situations can be used by God. Because right now, I don't feel like my life is going anywhere. Oh yeah I'm a nursing student, but lately I've been wondering if that's really what I want to do. I guess I got scared. Nursing school is hard, but I've heard several times that the stuff that's hardest is the stuff most worth going for. I've also had to come to the realization that it will probably take me more than two years to finish just because so many people have to take certain courses more than once. I just have to keep working, and trusting, and believing. If I keep running from something just because it's hard, I will be running for the rest of my life and the four years since high school will have been for nothing. I won't do it. I won't give in. I will be the best nurse I can be, but I will not stop being a musician.
I figure that in order to be a nurse, you have to be around sick people. But there won't be any sick people in Heaven so what is a person to do with their talents? That might be why God gave me the gift of music if not to use in this life...maybe the next. I still plan on glorifying him with my music here though as much as I can. I just wonder why I've always felt like that has been suppressed. There's been a solo here and there, but nothing big. If I knew I could really make it in the music business, I'd dump this nursing in a heart beat and jump with both feet into music. But there are no certainties and I'm not the starving artist type. So I'm a cautious person. But I've seen what life is like just existing from paycheck to paycheck and not knowing where the next one is coming from and I can't live like that. I hope to have a family one day and I want to do right by them.
Does this make sense to anyone? I hope so. Once again, I feel suppressed, but I know that children of God aren't anywhere that God hasn't placed them so I can be confident in that. I just keep praying for peace with my life though. Everyone has regrets, but I feel like I'm too young to have them. I'm just not completely sure of anything right now. I pray for direction and have faith that he will give it to me in his own good time. Thank you Lord.
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Hey there missy. You make lots of sense to me. Maybe this is God probing at your heart, stirring it up for the things He has planned for you. It wouldn't hurt to explore the possibilities. I understand wanting to be safe and secure and not have to worry about things, but in all honesty, being a Christ-follower isn't necessarily about being comfortable. It's about pursuing God and His plan for you life, no matter how far out on the edge it will take you. Dream big. Ask God for the big stuff and don't be afraid to let Him answer with something even bigger than what you asked for!
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't know where to start.
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